I had to disclose in my LinkedIn profile that I am willing to network with recruiters, but I'm not interested in any job opportunities. Everyone at Linaro has been treating me well, and I plan to be with them for many years to come.
One of the issues I'm dealing with is to ask for help when I need it. It's not healthy to struggle for days on one issue when I could have easily reached out to anyone on my team. Part of it is a pride issue where I didn't want to be seen as a weak person. Nothing to do with gender. Yes, I know that even the best kernel developers ask each other for help. My team reminds me to ask questions multiple times. For me, it's something I'm not used to. Doesn't help that I've been placing high expectations on myself.
I'm a recovering perfectionist. Growing up in an Asian culture where I'd be "nothing" if I couldn't excel in what I do. I was used to being compared all the time, and I still find myself comparing myself to others.
"Why couldn't I understand kernel concepts easily?"
"This hardware stuff is overwhelming."
"I'm not sure if I was meant to be a software engineer."
Let me tell you, I'm still trying to overcome self-doubt. It's an energy sucker, and I don't want anyone to experience this. Some days I feel like I can do anything, and of course, I have my days where I'm not 100% productive.
In most cases, it's all going to take time, and I have to be okay with that :)